A Disney expert’s guide to not messing up your visit to Walt’s Experimental City
EPCOT is – in many ways – the most confounding Disney theme park in the world. There are days that I think it’s my second favorite theme park in Orlando – MK will always be No. 1 in my heart. But there are also days were I think about how much more it could be.
It’s great. It has one of the best rides in Orlando in Guardians. It has delightful festivals filled with food and art and flowers … Christmas? It features fantastic dining, lots of seasonal appearances by Disney legends and former stars.
Working your way around the world is one of the most enjoyable ways to spend an evening in any theme park anywhere.
Immaculate vibes.
It’s a great park.
But it could be so much more. IF Disney made the necessary investments, it could be outstanding.
What do I mean?
There’s so much unused space. There are room for more pavilions in the World Showcase. And don’t get me started on the Wonders of Life Pavilion, which sits empty and abandoned. The various movie theaters are hit and miss. The Canada show is worthwhile but The Beauty and the Beast Sing-along is a waste of time as is Reflections of China.
In fact, in addition to more pavilions – Africa, South Asia and South America needs either more representation or any representation at all – the World Showcase needs more rides. It’s my opinion that every Pavilion should have at least one, but that may not be practical. But I remain in mourning for the Mary Poppins ride we never got even if it was based on the newer Poppins.
Other ideas include bringing back the Old Snow White and Mr. Toad Rides from the Magic Kingdom for the German and United Kingdom Pavilions. The rides don’t even have to be good. The Magic Carpets of Alladin would be a nice flat ride for kids in Morrocco instead of a second spinner ride shoved into the Magic Kingdom.
Give me a log flume in Canada and something with Baymax in Japan – SanFransokyo works there, right?
We could bring back a previous version of figment or come up with something new there as well. And fix Mission to Space so it’s a little more rideable?
There’s so much potential in a park that’s already pretty great.
But we can’t worry about the EPCOT of our dreams. We have to deal with what we’ve got and what we’ve got is a massive park that requires planning, patience and planning. Sorry, I wanted three p-words there and couldn’t think of another. It requires some judgement, some foresight and knowledge of where the landmines are.
Let us help with that.
IN THIS ARTICLE
Five things not to do at EPCOT
No. 1 Ride Mission Space Orange
My family is from the tiny town of Mitchell, Indiana, home of legendary astronaut Virgil “Gus” Grissom, one of the original Mercury Seven astronauts and the second man to fly in space twice. Grissom died during a pre-launch test in 1967.
If you watched Apollo 13, it was the Grissom accident that little Jeffery was thinking of when he asked, “Was it the door?” Anyway, there’s small museum dedicated to Grissom in Spring Mill State Park. I grew up visiting that museum – which has one of his space suits and the Gemini 3 Molly Brown Space capsule that he rode to space and back. It’s an amazing place. And I developed a love of space flight and NASA and always wondered if I could have been an astronaut.
Thanks to Mission Space Orange, I know the answer and the answer is “LOL, hell no.”
Now, I could have told you that without Mission Space Orange. I’m prone to motion sickness and afraid of heights. But Mission Space really sealed the deal.
“The Orange Mission uses a centrifuge that spins and tilts to simulate the speed and G-forces of a spacecraft launch and reentry. Orange Mission offers astronauts 44” and taller a more intense experience,” Disney explains. “Guests who wish to experience the Orange Mission should be in good health and free of high blood pressure, heart, back or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure. Expectant mothers should not ride either Mission.”
I’m surprised it doesn’t say Expectant mothers and John Gullion should not ride.
I’m sure you’re thinking that you’re cool. You’ve got an iron stomach and haven’t been dizzy since the Clinton administration. Maybe you’ve got the idea you’d like to prove how tough you are.
Maybe you’ll walk away OK.
But maybe you won’t.
Getting into EPCOT takes a lot of time and money and planning and you don’t want to spend the next hour or so after Mission Space recovering.
It’s just not worth it.
No. 2 Eat at Nine Dragons
Do you have a Chinese restaurant at home? Is it acceptable? Is it like every other Chinese restaurant in every other town in every other state in the U.S.? It probably is. So is the Nine Dragons.
Now, I’ve got nothing against the typical American version of Chinese fare. It’s a great for a meal with the kids when you don’t feel like cooking or maybe when you want to grab a bite after a concert or a game. But in EPCOT where there are so many excellent and interesting dining options in EPCOT, why would you choose a more expensive version of what you can get at home?
No. 3 Watch any of the movies
I’m not huge on movie watching at Disney. It’s nice if you need a break to get out of the heat, but ultimately a fairly worthless endeavor. You might tell me that EPCOT is about learning about the world, I submit to you that nobody has learned about France or China or Canada since the movies debuted decades ago.
I like Marty Short and I kind of enjoy the 360 vision of the Canada movie but it’s still a yawner. Would it be better off building smaller Soarin’ style attractions or just doing something else with the space? I think so.
Wait. What about the Disney shorts over by Journey into Imagination with Figment? Man, they’ve been runnin’ the same shorts since 1974. How is that possible since EPCOT didn’t open until 1982? I don’t know but it’s probably the same process that lets them release them in 4D when the rest of the world only has three dimensions.
No. 4 Forget about the International Gateway
How cool is it to ride the Skyliner to EPCOT’s backdoor? Very cool. If you’re staying at a non-Skyliner resort, I think it’s worth figuring out a way to get to the Caribbean Beach, Pop Century, Riviera or Art of Animation and ride to the International Gateway.
I prefer the World Showcase section of the park and this is a nice way to get to the showcase without the long march from the parking lot, through the front entrance and across Epcot’s North 40.
The gateway can save you a lot of steps. Also, it’s perfect if you’re rope dropping Frozen or Remy’s or if you’re taking the family to Akershus for Princess dining, especially if your princess is all dolled up.
No. 5 Get Hammered
Drinking around the world is a whole thing at EPCOT and, frankly, I love it. But you need to keep your wits, pace yourself.
You don’t want to get to Germany and find yourself getting a little messy.
There’s a fine line between enjoying your EPCOT evening and ending up on dozens of TikTok’s as they guy who got sloshed and fell off the EPCOT drawbridge.
There is A LOT of alcohol to be had in EPCOT. Discretion is the better part of valor.
Bonus thing not do to…
Don’t visit the park the same day as Uncle Jesse.
John Stamos – aka Uncle Jesse from the classic sitcom Full House – announced he was performing two nights at EPCOT with the current touring version of The Beach Boys to end the Eat to the Beat Festival in mid-November 2025.
People lost their minds.
Uncle Jesse – I know he’s been in other things but really, who can name another Stamos role without IMDB? – apparently is MASSIVELY popular with the EPCOT crowd. With seats first come, first served and the relatively small theater the park and staff were quickly overwhelmed. And they eventually had to tell fans to “Have Mercy.”
Now, you might say the crowd was for The Beach Boys, one of the greatest American rock bands of all time but let me assure you it wasn’t. I saw the current touring version of the band a couple of years ago. Let’s just say tickets were available and there were no near riots.
It was the Uncle Jesse of it all, my friends.
In fact, members of our Hey Orlando! had planned to take their tiny baby son to EPCOT for the first time on Monday, the second of the two Beach Boys with Uncle Jesse gigs. But after Sunday’s debacle, called an audible and went to the Magic Kingdom.
Sure, they missed out on hearing an aging Greek heartthrob sing “Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take you.” But they also didn’t get trampled by a mob of Full House fans.
“How Rude!”
