After years of anticipation, Orlando’s newest major theme park is open but Universal has plenty of work left to be done
We are in the midst of a theme park arms race in Orlando. Disney and Universal go back and forth, providing the Yen to the other’s Yang. Providing the tat for the other’s… you know what? You get the point.
And while you might have thought Universal would rest on its laurels, bask in the sunshine of a job well done and drink from the keg of glory while enjoying all the finest meats and cheeses in the land, it turns out there is still work to do.
The glimmering achievement that is Epic Universe somehow highlights the deficiencies in the other Orlando parks. Both Islands of Adventure and Universal Studios Florida are undergoing major renovations with more needed in the near future.
And even Epic Universe, in its shining newness, has room for improvement.
That’s the life of a theme park conglomerate in Orlando.
Bigger. Better. Faster. Stronger.
Onward. Forward. Upward. Always.
IN THIS ARTICLE
What is being done, what needs to be done at Epic Universe
It’s hard to imagine but Epic Universe – a grand, majestic theme park achievement – has room to grow. Thankfully, it was built with that in mind. Epic Universe was originally planned with more rides that were jettisoned along the way, but space for future expansion was built into the park’s design.within the park.
Where does the space exist?
Where does it need it?
In the Wizarding World of Harry Potter – Ministry of Magic. In the early stages, there was to be two rides – maybe even three – in this Harry Potter world. There is currently just one: Harry Potter and the Battle at the Ministry. Now, the one they did build is an amazing achievement with one of the most exquisite queues in the world.
But the ride goes down frequently. Wait times can be a nightmare. Harry Potter and the Battle at the Ministry desperately needs a sibling ride, or two, to help alleviate pressure on the park. Even a flat ride that doesn’t go down would help. Something like the Curse of the Werewolf coaster that provides infrastructural support to Monsters Unchained in the Dark Universe.
I actually wouldn’t mind one more ride in Dark Universe where I think there’s some room to expand. Isle of Berk and SUPER NINTENDO WORLD are good, from a ride standpoint. And Celestial Park is in a bit of limbo after the incident with Stardust Racers.
What else does Epic Universe need? Trees. The original drawings had large shade trees, providing respite from the Orlando sun – not the newspaper, the actual solar body. What we got? We got shade trees in their infancy. Give it 10 to 12 years and a couple of heat strokes each summer and we’ll get there.
In 1970, Disney had some dudes with a backhoe to move a giant Southern Live Oak into its new park. None of them knew what they were doing. Disney paid them in cigarettes and grain alcohol and they still figured it out. You’re telling me Universal couldn’t find a handful of horticulturalists with a pick-up truck and a shovel to get a few decent sized trees into the park?
What is being done, what should be done at Universal Studios Florida
Let’s start with what’s currently going on. Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit is gone, and Universal is building something to take its place. What will replace it? Rumors include a custom, spinning Fast and Furious coaster, but that doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Universal has done significant modifications to that area in terms of creating a mini-Minions land and a Minions-themed family coaster seems logical. But we’ll see.
What else needs updating at Universal Studios? About half the park.
The Revenge of the Mummy coaster underwent a significant refurbishment not long ago, so that’s good. And they did major work in the new DreamWorks Land and KidZone so that’s probably secure. But everything else should be up for grabs.
Universal no longer has the non-theme park rights to The Simpsons, so it seems unlikely they’ll want to sink a lot of money into updating Springfield. But it needs it. The Kang and Kodos’ Twirl ‘n’ Hurl ride is fine. Parks need flat rides, after all.
But The Simpsons Ride feels somewhat outdated and motion sickness inducing. I don’t imagine it happening any time soon, but this area is ripe for retheming.
I also wonder how much longer the MEN IN BLACK Alien Attack (MIB) ride can go without a significant upgrade.The ride itself is fun, but once Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin reopens in the Magic Kingdom, MIB will rank as only the third or fourth best competitive shooter game in Orlando.
Closing the ride for any length of time will be difficult, because the old Fear Factor Live theater next door remains unused, and together they would leave a lot of empty real estate in the back of the park.
Finally, the MIB intellectual property (IP) feels dated and floundering. When you base something on IP, it needs to be an excellent experience or a timeless piece of IP. MIB is good. But it’s neither excellent nor timeless.
What about Diagon Alley? Love it. I wouldn’t change anything, except I’d tear down the Fear Factor theater and expand Harry Potter’s Wizarding World over that way. I’ve long advocated for an Avatar Flight of Passage style Quidditch ride in that spot, but so far, my cries have gone unheeded.
While we’re at it, can we do something to liven up the King’s Cross Station queue for the Hogwarts Express? Spending an hour going through those switchbacks was the single worst theme park experience of my life, and I won’t do it again.
That bring us to the rightfully maligned Fast and Furious Supercharged. IF – and that’s a big IF – Universal goes with a Fast and Furious roller coaster maybe it will revisit a piece of its more timeless history like Back to the Future or Ghostbusters. Another option would be to expand its Transformers offerings. TRANSFORMERS: The Ride – 3D is one of the better motion and screen simulator rides in the park and the Transformers character meet and greets are excellent. Wouldn’t mind seeing Transformers get a bit more land to work with.
What’s being done, what should be done at Islands of Adventure
Like Universal Studios Florida, Islands of Adventure is undergoing some kind of significant upgrade on the former Lost Continent where the shell of Poseidon’s Fury has existed since it closed in May of 2023. The Lost Continent – which has some pretty good kebabs but no rides – there isn’t much longer for this world, but what will replace it is unknown.
Speculation includes Legend of Zelda attractions (yay!) or a Pokémon themed land (yay but a little less enthusiastically so). Thankfully, Mythos restaurant is likely to survive whatever is coming down the pike.
Other things Island of Adeventure needs? I wouldn’t touch Seuss Landing, and I think Hogsmeade and Jurassic Park are strong as is – though the Jurassic Park River Adventure is up for refurbishment as well. I think Universal will eventually refurbish the completely mediocre Skull Island: Reign of Kong ride and absorb it into Jurassic Park.
That leaves us with Toon Lagoon and Marvel Super Hero Island. Both are in need of refurb and, possibly, retheming.
I like the rides on Marvel Super Hero Island – I’m more down on The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man than others. But it is loud and a lot of the theming is bad. I do like the character meet and greets and The Incredible Hulk Coaster is really, really good. But everything just feels dated and loud. It needs a significant investment and it seems unlikely considering the complicated rights issues involving Marvel characters.
Eventually, it seems like Universal and Disney will work out a deal to consolidate Marvel under the Disney umbrella and free up Islands of Adventure to do something else.
Toon Lagoon? I work at a newspaper, grew up with all these characters and it feels painfully out of date to me. My kids wouldn’t know Dudley Do-Right if he came to life right in front of them. The land feels like a nostalgia play, but it doesn’t really hit home.
I guess that after Universal finishes work on The Lost Continent—which will likely take a couple of years—they will systematically address the entire section from Skull Island to Super Hero Island.
